Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The trail that almost led to Bozeman

In my last post, I mentioned the acronym BUSY (Buried Under Satan's Yoke). Today, I have another:


False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Do you know what I mean? Has this ever happened to you?

First, allow me to give credit where credit is due... I did not come up with this... Beth Moore used this acronym in Session One (video) of her Bible Study entitled The Patriarchs. I wish I could remember exactly what she said, but it has probably been six months since I heard it. However, the gist was that one of our enemy's best tools is taking something completely untrue and making it seem true.

The first example in history of this happening is, of course, Eve. "Surely you will not die..." the serpent whispered cunningly. He was twisting reality, focusing on the physical world, as if that was Eve's only reality. But our reality includes the spiritual world where separation from God (spiritual death) is the consequence for sin. By distracting Eve from spiritual matters and encouraging her to focus on her material world, Satan set her up for her fall. I'm not excusing her choice, nor am I excusing any of my bad choices. Rather, I am suggesting we be prepared before we are tempted by being on guard against that false evidence appearing real.

Beth also said another tool Satan uses in his deception is making real evidence of God appear false. There are so many miracles our culture explains away by science, luck, etc. Childbirth, the Grand Canyon, being in the right place at the right time... you name it, we can come up with a reason for it. Read The Screw Tape Letters by C.S. Lewis if you haven't before. It is such as EASY read... nothing like his other stuff... and it does a really good job of poking fun at the way Satan works. Yet, when you read it, despite the humor, you will think, "That's EXACTLY how it happens!"

I am here to stand against FEAR. I am going to share real evidence of God that could appear false without Faith. I hope my story will be helpful to some... maybe one day to my children as they look back on 2007.

For many years, Charles has been drawn to mission work. He has not been trained in evangelism, but he really likes to go and help people in a physical way. In 2006, we began talking about the possibility of becoming a missionary family in a foreign country. We explored the posts available with the IMB, and Charles talked to some people in charge of placement. However, we never felt a peace about anything we explored. Things that appealed to me didn't appeal to him, and vice-versa. In the fall, we heard a missionary from Montana talk about opportunities available in the state, especially near Billings, to minister to the Native Americans. When we got home that evening, we were united in thought for the first time since we had begun exploring missions. We both thought, "We can do this!" The great thing about Montana was that they needed people to move there and join fledgling churches... people who could be gainfully employed outside of the church. Charles works remotely for a company out of Delaware, so this was definitely doable for us.

We were excited about what we felt was a calling, but we didn't know where to begin. Charles was friends with our pastor, and asked his advice. He said he would pray for us. A few weeks later, our pastor called Charles and asked him to go for a drive. He told Charles he was planning to move to Bozeman Montana to plant a Baptist church, and asked if Charles and I would consider going with him to Bozeman to help get things started. Both men were elated at the idea of the adventure, and it really seemed like a confirmation of the calling to learn another family was being called to the same general area. We did not have a specific destination in mind before hearing of the church plant... so we settled on Bozeman and began to think of that as our mission.

We decided to travel to Bozeman over spring break to make sure I could handle the cold and to check out housing and schools. Our pastor's wife is a teacher, so they went out at the same time and we met up for a few meals. As we fellowshipped, we marvelled at the scenery and the majesty of God's creation. Charles and I were not sure we could afford to move in 2007, but we encountered many things that made us really want to do it. In the short time we were there, I found a ladies' Bible Study... they were doing a study and they wondered if I'd ever heard of the author... a lady named Beth Moore? Are you kidding?!! She is only my FAVORITE! Beth scolds us to study under a variety of teachers and I try to, but she is the only one who NEVER loses my attention). We found a perfect community with a neighborhood school, a lake for fishing, and a gorgeous view of the mountain range. I discovered a free-lance music therapist who was planning to begin working full-time and may have to give up some of her part-time gigs (I was a music therapist in my other lifetime, before marriage and kids... was this a way to work part-time for traveling home money?)

There were many signs that Montana was where God wanted us. However, I can also see looking back that there were also signs that we should proceed with caution. The first sign for me was when I asked if we could "drive over" to an Indian reservation. I had in mind shopping for some authentic blankets. Charles looked at me blankly, and then said, "There are no reservations near Bozeman." I returned his blank look and wondered, "Then what are we doing here?" We had both read Bury My heart at Wounded Knee, along with anything and everything else we could find about Native American History. We were so eager to, in some small way, help the nations living within our nation who have had so much stolen from them. I could not believe we were headed to the part of Montana that seemed furthest from the reservations.

Another sign was the cost of living in Bozeman. Bozeman was the only area in Montana where the cost of living was actually higher than Georgia. However, Belgrade was only 6 miles from Bozeman; and we were able to find new housing for about the same price as new housing in Columbus. The disadvantage here was that we prefer old houses because of their lower cost... but we couldn't find any older houses in the area we liked. This made us wonder. We choose older houses because we like to live beneath our means... was it God's will for us to live differently? Or was that where the music therapy would eventually come in?

Another caution sign should have been the amount of time our pastor was called away when he attempted to disciple us. He had us buy two books and planned to go through them with us as a small group study. However, two separate severe illnesses of close family members prevented him from meeting with us in Bible study even one time.

Despite these snags, we had a passion for Montana; and we decided to sweep these "uh-oh" feelings under the rug. We put our house up for sale, and took a wild ride through the land of spiritual attack. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Every paint project we tackled has some sort of snag... paint not drying, paint peeling off, paint not covering, paint not adhering to primer. I do a LOT of painting and buy only the best products and pretty much know what I am doing... but NOTHING turned out right. Once I even lost a can of kiltz, even though I knew exactly where it was. Skeptics will scoff at this, but some of you will believe. The Kiltz was on my paint shelf and I knew where it was... but I could not see it. It was as if scales were over my eyes. I kid you not, I could not find the paint until Charles and I both prayed for God to reveal it. After praying, my eyes went immediately to the Kiltz... it was on the shelf, right in front of me. I just couldn't see it until I prayed. Doubt not, I speak the truth!

There were also spiritual attacks of a physical nature that cannot to this day be explained. One night, Ephraim came screaming into my room saying, "Something tried to grab me!" As he climbed into my bed, I noticed my clock was blinking "12:00 AM" I tried to wake Charles because I thought the power must have gone out and sent all of the clocks back to 12:00 AM. My blood ran cold when I realized his clock read "4:30 AM." I made him hold Ephraim while I checked the rest of the house... and discovered that my clock was the only clock that had experienced a disruption in electricity at the exact moment Ephraim felt something grab him.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

FALSE
EVIDENCE
APPEARING
REAL

I took the power of Christ, which has dwelled in me since asking Jesus to be my savior; and I prayed over my entire house... banishing all evil and spirits of evil in the name of Jesus. Satan has no power over Christ in me.

A couple of weeks later, another unexplained event occurred. We had received an offer on our house, and were in the negotiating phase. A DVD came in the mail from Blockbuster online. I had never heard of the title, so I looked up the synopsis online. It said the movie was the only documented occurrence of a true spiritual attack on a child that ended in murder. I yelled for Charles and asked him why he would order something like that after what had happened with the clock. Guess what... you guessed it... neither of us ordered that movie.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Peter 1:7

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Talk about fear. I felt like something had just made a direct threat against my child, and I couldn't see the thing that was threatening me. I took my ipod and headed for the park. As I listened to my favorite worship songs and took in visually the splendor of God, the wind began to blow. I felt God's spirit in the wind... I felt the spirit of God move through my body. I wanted to raise my hands and shout to Him. There were others at the park, so I refrained and spoke to him silently from my heart. I said, "God, I give it all to you. I give my baby to you. You tell me in your word that you have already decided the number of days Ephraim will live... and I know he will live only that number of days whether I got to Montana or stay here... and I'll go, God! Ephraim is yours, and only you can determine how long he will live. I give him to you!"

I went home, and we finalized the contract to sell our house. It was a competitive buyers market, so we agreed to a quick closing with a price that seemed good for the market. A couple of hours later, we got an email from our pastor, saying he was not going to Montana after all.

After all of the spiritual warfare, I still wanted to go. I was determined to go! Charles wanted to go as well, and tried to book a flight for Matthew and I to go find housing. He worked with Delta relentlessly for an hour, both online and by phone; but he absolutely could not get a flight for where Matthew and I could be together. He kept trying because Matthew is 10, and not ready to fly alone. While on hold, Charles heard God say to him (audibly), "You can stop now. This is as far as I want you to go."

Charles hung up the phone and told me about the voice he had heard. We got out his laptop and began searching for a house in Columbus. Later that night, while I was sleeping, I heard a voice whisper in my ear, "Everything is going to be okay now." It was a soothing, intimate voice... like a lover's voice... and it whispered in my ear from behind me. I thought at first it was Charles, but I awoke to find myself lying on my side facing Charles. He wasn't behind me and could not have whispered from that direction. In any case, he was asleep. God had spoken to me as well as to him.

In the end, God led us to a house in Columbus with a neighborhood school, a lake for fishing, and a beautiful view of the lake complete with ducks. Sound familiar? Just what we would have had in Montana, except that we also got our preferred "older home" and a swimming pool to boot!

Ain't no high like THE MOST HIGH! (again, Beth Moore. Sorry, but she just says it so well! And so perfectly southern!)

I pray you are blessed by my testimony. I don't understand everything that happened to us this year... there are a few things I look forward to asking God about. If I think about it too much, it makes my head hurt. But can't the same thing be said of MANY things God does? I am studying Daniel under Beth Moore now, and that can REALLY make your head hurt. God is beyond our understanding... but He's got it all in His hand.

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell ME if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements? Surely you know!
Job 38:4-5

There's a lot we don't know....




This was the view in the neighborhood where we were planning to live in Montana. There was a small lake for fishing (and swimming, if the water was warm enough).


































This is the view in our backyard God provided right here in Georgia. You can't swim in the lake, but God graciously gave us a swimming pool! Also, there are ducks to feed and a walking trail. God has been very good to us. He provided not only what we needed, but also the things the boys really wanted.