Becoming a Mary

Ephraim's Baptism

2011-08-20T18:48:00.001-07:00

Matthew's Baptism

2009-04-14T18:45:00.001-07:00

These are in reverse order for some reason... but you get the picture!

A Day to Remember

2008-12-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

Last night, Ephraim surprised me during his bedtime prayers by asking Jesus to help him be a better person. He is 5 1/2 and not extremely mature even compared to typical 5-year-olds. I told him that was a good thing to pray for and that it was a tiny step towards eventually asking Jesus to save him. He surprised me again by saying he wanted to ask Jesus to save him right then.

I thought for a moment. Nathan was saved on New Year's Eve the year he was 5; and I couldn't help comparing the boys. Nathan had been adamant about asking Jesus into his heart, but I was reluctant because of his age. Truthfully, I tried to talk him out of it, saying, "Nathan, you don't have to do this until you're ready;" to which he replied "Mommy, I am ready... why won't you just let me do this?" Nathan prayed the sinner's prayer and knew & believed everything he was supposed to believe; but I worried because of his age. In hindsight, I see now that his salvation was real... he was one way before salvation and a different way afterwards.

Now, almost 3 years to the day later (December 27th this time); I had another 5-year-old asking me the same question. I compared Ephraim's maturity level with Nathan's at the same age, and sighed. "Ephraim, let's think and talk about this for a few days... and if you are really sure you are ready and if I'm really sure you understand what it means to ask Jesus to save you... well, I'll help you pray the prayer on New Year's Eve, just like Nathan did."

This was not good enough for Ephraim. He could not sleep; and could not let go of the idea of asking Jesus to save him right then. It was as if Someone had taken hold of him...

I thought again about how it turned out with Nathan... about how in hindsight I can see the reality of his conversion and the Truth of Jesus living inside of him. As I considered Ephraim's eagerness to be saved by God... to commit to making Jesus the Lord of his life... I thought, "Who am I to stand in the way of this?"

So, I helped him.

I have adopted and adapted (though definitely DID NOT invent it!) a simplified method of explaining salvation to very young children: the ABC method.

A: Admit you are a sinner.

B: Believe Jesus is God's son and that Jesus died on the cross for you and that Jesus rose again on the 3rd day.

C: Confess/Commit to make Jesus the Lord (boss) of your life.

Also important: to love Jesus and to understand he is the bridge to God; that without Him none of us can get to God; and that he became the bridge by taking our punishment for us when He died on the cross. One of Matthew's friends said, "It's kind of like Jesus took our spanking for us."

There's more, of course... a lifetime more to learn about Jesus... but that is about as much as a 5-year-old can comprehend... for now...

We will wait to have Ephraim Baptized (unless he insists) to give him a chance to really learn about the Person living in his heart and to give him a chance to grow old enough to remember the day he obeys Christ's first request be being Baptized. This will also give us a chance to see Ephraim's salvation story unfold... and allow Ephraim to be old enough to be able to say, "This is what I was like before Jesus saved me... and this is how I changed..."

What a night!

A Mother's Treasures

2008-12-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

My boys are growing up. We have a great, rowdy time together... but sometimes they surprise me still with the sweet love that exists only between mothers and their boys.

I treasure these moments! So often, I am forgotten as a mother of boys... our church celebrates mothers and daughters... fathers and daughters... fathers and sons... only my role has never been acknowledged... and although I laugh and say I don't care... I sometimes secretly do care...

My boys made up for it this month. I wouldn't trade being the mother of boys for any other honor...

Matthew began my sweet remembrance. Ephraim had to decorate a paper Christmas tree for school; and I dug out some old beads to use as jeweled lights. While Ephraim and I worked, Matthew mysteriously disappeared. About an hour later, Matthew brought me a hand-made paper envelope decorated with a Christmas tree he had drawn. I opened it, and found a bracelet made from jewels and string. My heart leaped, and images of so many hand-made gifts from Matthew over the years flew through my mind. He has always had such a sweet desire to make things for me... and I was so surprised and happy when my 11-year-old boy gave me one more bracelet he made himself... a remnant of his younger days.

Nathan was the second to pull at my heart strings. He went to the "Secret Santa" shop with enough money to buy gifts for everyone in the family. He was so excited when he got home, and wanted all of us to open our gifts right away! I relented, because I didn't want to dampen his excitement. I oohed and aaahed over his gift to me; as did the rest of the family with their gifts. Then, Nathan suprised me by saying, "I got you something else, Mommy." I was even more touched that he got me two gifts... and then he said the same thing three more times! I was so honored to be showered with so many gifts from my 8-year-old boy.

Ephraim... well, Ephraim is still my baby. He gives me moments every day, and I know I must hold onto them because he is growing up so fast! My favorite moments with him are at night; when he is lying in his bed and we are talking about his day. He is still willing to give me kisses, and I store them in my heart.

I am grateful beyond measure for my boys and their love.

The 2-bite Rule and Other Things that are Gone with the Wind...

2008-11-23T15:57:00.000-08:00

We went to Thanksgiving dinner at our church (pot-luck) tonight; and I packed a sack lunch for Ephraim before we went. I thoroughly enjoyed eating about a tablespoon-sized serving of all of the vegetable casseroles I never cook at home... but Ephraim would not have been into it.

More than a few people passed our table and laughed as they observed Ephraim eating his Blueberry poptarts. One well-meaning soul told me she had used a "two bite" rule with her kids; and that it really worked.

I, too, had a successful run with the "two bite" rule... with my oldest two boys. They were required to take two bites of everything on their plates; and then they were allowed to eat enough of whatever we were having that they liked to get full. Now that I think of it, I believe the idea of the "two bite" rule came from the very same person who suggested it to me tonight. I must admit, it worked like a charm for years.

That, however, was before Ephraim.

I used to think parents could and should prevail in any battle of wills. However, having ideas of how to raise children and having actual children living in your home needing to be raised are two entirely different matters! I have found it possible to win every battle of wills with a couple of exceptions:

They will potty-train when they want to, and not a moment sooner.
If they determine not to put a food item in their mouths, you actually cannot force the matter. In some cases, the food will rot before they eat it! And two bites? Not if they've set their resolve against it. You can pry their mouths open and shove the food inside... but you cannot make them swallow it!

I never thought I would stoop this low... but I eventually compromised with Ephraim on my "two-bite" rule. I have deceived myself into thinking I have maintained the spirit of "Mommy is the boss" by saying, "Okay, Ephraim. You don't have to eat it, but you MUST taste it. Just touch it with your tongue."

Gone are the days when Matthew believed Nutrigrain bars were candy bars (see, I was better at nutrition at one point in my life!) Gone are the days of the "two bite" rule. The new motto: "Just touch it to your tongue!"

Sigh...

Conversing with a 5-year-old

2008-11-15T18:29:00.000-08:00

I am in the shower; but Ephraim absolutely MUST talk to me right now!

Ephraim: Mommy, we're (unintelligible) tomatoes!

Mommy: What?

Ephraim: We're (throwing???) tomatoes!

Mommy: You're throwing tomatoes?

Ephraim: NO! We're growing tomatoes!

Mommy: Are you growing tomatoes in your classroom?

Ephraim: No.

Mommy: Who is growing tomatoes?

Ephraim (shrugs): Nobody is.

Mommy (turns off the shower and looks at Ephraim through crack in the glass door, completely bewildered: Ephraim, what on earth are you talking about?

Ephraim: Nobody is growing tomatoes. I think the rain is doing it. They're growing on our yard!

Mommy: Oh...

3 Boys and a Wedding

2008-10-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

Charles' cousin got married last night at a beautiful plantation in South Georgia. Everything was perfect, from the Spanish Moss hanging from the big oak trees to the gentle, cool breeze (instead of the usual sweltering heat!) As the bride completed her triumphant march down the isle to meet her groom; the organ completed with a resounding chord.

In the immediate silence that followed the ending note from the organ, my youngest child let out a belch that would have put most grown men to shame.

My two oldest boys and two of their female cousins burst into uncontrollable giggles. And, unfortunately, so did I.

I buried my face in Ephraim's neck and tried to muster the evil eye. I cut my eyes at Matthew and Nathan and whispered "SHHHH..." giving them my sternest mother's look. They gained control of themselves as I stared straight ahead... and then lost it again when I buried my head in Ephraim's neck again and began shaking with laughter.

I had to walk away with Ephraim. Why is it so hard to quit laughing when it is MOST important you do so?

Ephraim and I spent the ceremony far from earshot, beside a fence, looking for cows and horses.

Where were you?

2008-09-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

I was beginning my first school year as a stay-at-home Mom. After living the hectic life of a working Mom and wife of an international businessman; my new life seemed so easy and blessed! I was a new volunteer counselor at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, where I was learning much about having a personal relationship with Jesus. I was beginning my journey towards becoming a Mary, although I was not yet aware of this. Matthew was 4, Nathan was one, and Ephraim was still God's little secret surprise yet to come.

I was driving Matthew to preschool at Morningside Baptist Church, and I was listening to Bob and Sheri on the radio (they were a lot tamer back then; these days I do not listen to them in front of the kids!) Anyway, I was nearing the intersection of Moon Road, traveling on Weems Road; and I was trying to wrap my mind around what Bob was saying...

A plane flew into the World Trade Center?

At some point, Bob was saying he hated to say it, but he found it hard to believe this was an accident.

I was still listening when the second plane hit. As the day unfolded, so did the rest of the story of the well-planned attack on the United States of America. This wasn't a distant war story being retold by my grandfather, a veteran of World War II. This was only too real, complete with vivid pictures and video footage; and for the first time since World War II... it was happening on American soil.

I will never forget it.

It amazes me to look around and see so many have already forgotten. We must not take our freedom or our lives for granted.

The World of Boys

2008-07-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

We have a lake near our house, and the lake is fed by a small stream that is stagnant in places. I am at the moment in search of an Avon lady to help me with a small mosquito problem! (I need some Skin-so-soft like Grandmomma used to use...) But I digress...

A common pastime of ours is to walk down to a particular point on the bank of the creek and check on the growth of a large group of tadpoles. At the moment, they look like the little guys swimming above... no feet yet!

As I mentioned earlier, this creek is stagnant in places... which means it really kind of stinks! Despite this, my boys (who cannot stand the smell of cooking vegetables); always want to stop and put their hands in the water, trying to catch the tadpoles!

I'm not as girlie as I used to be, but this is something I cannot understand. It's yucky! I try to get them to stop.

Me: You don't know what kind of germs are in that creek!

Nathan: I can wash my hands.

Me (trying another tactic): Don't touch them... you might hurt them. They're very fragile!

Nathan: I won't hurt them... I'm touching soft. They feel good!

They feel good? I have no answer for that, so I give up.

The World of Boys!

Happy Birthday, Ephraim!

2008-06-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ephraim is 5!

2008-06-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

I was holding Ephraim a few weeks ago, and he was talking about wanting to be a zookeeper when he grows up. He was twirling my hair with his fingers; and he paused and asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up, Mommy?"

I was a little startled. The first thing I thought was, That's a really good question now that Ephraim is going to Kindergarten and school counseling is no longer a critical need... consequently the jobs in my field are few and far between...

However, I knew Ephraim didn't want to hear all of that. Instead, I though a moment and then replied, "I think I want to be a Grandma when I grow up."

Ephraim was horrified. "Mommy!" he exclaimed, "You can't be a grandma when you grow up!"

Why not?" I asked.

"Because grandmas are old, and I don't want you to be old!"

Matthew and I laughed about this later, and I told Matthew getting old was better than the alternative (people who never grow old avoid doing so by dying young... not that I fear death, but I would like to see my grandchildren!)

However, there was no convincing Ephraim. We just had a Scarlet O'Hara moment and I said, "Let's worry about that another day!"

The Golden Roach

2008-06-04T19:27:00.000-07:00

Consider life through the eyes of a child.

We live in an old house in an old neighborhood with a lake and lots of big, old, southern trees nearby. That sentence may bring to mind Spanish moss and fireflies... but there is a hidden truth about living in such a place in the south:

Big black roaches that fly when provoked.

Our pest control seems to work fairly well, because nearly every roach we find has stumbled over the threshold and died or is in the process of dying. However, I wish a spray could be invented to keep them from crossing that threshold in the first place!

The boys and I took a late swim this evening, and the fireflies were starting to come out by the time we came inside. The boys were rowdy as they took their towels to the laundry room; but there was a sudden hush as the three of them crowded around an apparently glorious sight.

"Look!" one of the breathed reverently. "A golden cockroach!"

I watched and listened for a few minutes as they marveled at the sight and discussed what could have caused such a thing to happen. Finally, I sighed and said, "I wish somebody would pick it up with a Kleenex and flush it down the toilet instead of standing around admiring it!"

Alas, this was not to be. My comment snapped them out of their trance, and they all filed upstairs to take a shower; leaving the roach for me to handle.

Boys!

Nathan's Baptism

2008-05-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

Nathan and his friend from infancy, Rachel, were baptized on the same day.

Nathan's first steps after the symbol of his commitment to follow Christ

Nathan was baptized this past Sunday. He prayed to receive Christ on New Year's Eve of 2005, when he was only 5 year old. His salvation was genuine, but we waited these years to be certain he understood the importance of his choice to follow Christ. Even now, he is so young... I think back to my life when I was in the second grade, and I remember very little... only the most important events, really. I remember my mother having a major surgery and being worried she would die. I remember being placed in the "low" reading group, which was embarrassing. Unfortunately, that's about it. A few images of playing with a little girl named Ginger, the Blanchard playground, and a Brownie uniform; but not much else.

So, how did I know Nathan was ready, even in second grade, to take this life-altering step? How could I be sure he would remember it?

To begin with, I have always been absolutely sure about the authenticity of Nathan's salvation experience. I didn't want him to ask Jesus to save him at 5, because I knew his memory would be limited and I was afraid he would be too young to understand what he was doing. However, he was absolutely determined to have Jesus live in his heart, and would have prayed with or without my help. I could not pass up the invitation to be a part of what God had obviously initiated in his heart, so I just did as much as I could to explain salvation on a 5-year-old level. I adapted the "ABC" formula that I'd learned from the Lifeway VBS curriculum to a language Nathan understood:

A: Admit you're a sinner. Understand everyone sins (the preacher, Mommy, Daddy... everyone but Jesus). Romans 3:23

B: Believe that Jesus died for our sins on the cross because he loved us... that he took our punishment for us (a little boy I used to know said it's like Jesus took our spanking for us). Also believe Jesus rose from the dead (came back to life) 3 days later and is alive now in Heaven and in our heart as the Holy Spirit. John 3:16

C. Commit to try your best to follow Jesus and make Him Lord of your life (the boss). Even though you will make mistakes (refer back to A); you're going to try your very best to do what Jesus wants you to do.

"C" is by far the hardest part of salvation; but I believe it is crucial to help children understand this part of our salvation before Baptism; because otherwise, we are cheating them out of something absolutely necessary for living in Christ. I know of what I speak; I didn't realize I had not done "C" until I was 31 years old. By this time, I had already been baptized twice (once at confirmation and again when I joined a Baptist church); but I had missed out on the key to working out my salvation. I didn't want my children to make the same mistake I had made, so I have really stressed making Jesus "the boss" of your life.

The other thing that helped me know for certain Nathan's salvation experience was genuine was the presence of the Holy Spirit in his tiny body... it was unmistakable. Nathan was strong-willed from the very beginning. He knew what he wanted to do and what he didn't want to do... and there was not a spanking, time-out, or lost privilege in existence to change his mind once it was made up before Christ lived in his heart. Nathan's mind was his law... his own word was final for him. I have never seen anything like it. All I could do was pray.

My prayers for Nathan were pretty specific. He was obviously strong-willed; and I prayed God would use Nathan's strong will for His glory. I prayed my Nathan would be like the prophet Nathan who bravely confronted King David about stealing Bathsheba and murdering her husband. Some of the worst trouble Nathan has ever been in has been for vigilante justice (administering playground justice to bullies when the teacher does not punish an offender); so it seemed like God had already made Nathan to stand up for what was right. I just needed God to harness that tendency and use it for His glory instead of Nathan's vigilantism!

After praying to receive Christ, Nathan was suddenly able to be swayed from doing his own will. He was able to see other people's points of view. He began backing bending his own will when it went against God's will. The Holy Spirit in Nathan was obvious because it was such a stark contrast to Nathan prior to salvation. There was no mistaking it!

This is not to say Nathan no longer sins... far from it. A week ago, he acted out badly at children's church, over something he wrongly perceived as an injustice. Before Christ, there was only an unyielding belief that his own will was superior to all others. Now, Nathan is able to admit mistakes in judgement and actions. Through Christ, he is capable of repentance.

Wisdom From "The Graduate"

2008-05-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Now that Ephraim has graduated from preschool, he is full of wisdom and advice for everyone. After church yesterday, we went out for lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant so the boys could enjoy Mexican chicken fingers and french fries (ha, ha). At the end of the meal, Charles took Nathan to the restroom and Ephraim got up to follow them.

"Ephraim, come back," I said. "You already went to the bathroom with Mommy, remember?"

Ephraim returned to the table, but looked worriedly over his shoulder at his father and brother who were by this time nearly around the corner. At the top of his voice (across the adjoining table where about 10 people were seated), he hollered, "JUST REMEMBER TO FLUSH!"

Charles and Nathan hastily scooted around the corner, leaving Matthew and myself to put our heads in our hands and laugh.

Always an adventure!

Ephraim's Preschool Graduation

2008-05-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Singing "Deep and Wide"

Counting his "fingers in his pocket"

Going on a "Bear Hunt"

Receiving his "Diploma"

I didn't think I would cry. This was my third time watching one of my baby boys graduate from preschool, after all! I was wrong. I cried more this time than ever before.

*************************

Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.

I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.

-taken from a poem by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton published in Ladies Home Journal in 1958

Like It Was Lasterday

2008-04-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

(Nathan up to something; his brothers oblivious)

Nathan is 8. How can this be?

Nathan was a sweet baby who loved to be held. Many people don't believe this, but he never even cried until he was 4 months old and got his first ear infection! Before that, he made this noise that was a cross between a sniff and a cough when he wanted something. The first time we heard that noise coming from the bassinet, Charles and I looked at each other in confusion. We walked over to the bassinet and peered inside.

"What's he doing?" I asked.

Charles had an incredulous look on his face. He said, "Is that his... is he... crying?"

We thought we had hit the mother lode!

As a toddler, Nathan was such a character. He looked like an angel with his blond hair, green eyes, and long lashes; but he was always up to something. He waited a long time to start talking... until well after he was two... and suddenly started conversing with us in complete sentences! He had very few baby words: "Bubba" for Matthew; "lasterday" for anything that happened in the past but not yesterday; and a precious few others. At 3, he talked like a little adult with the exception of his high-pitched voice. Charles called him our little munchkin because of his voice.

When Nathan was 5, he asked me on New Year's Eve if he could pray to ask Jesus to save him. I was worried about him being too young, and told him he could wait until he was older if he didn't understand what he was doing. Really, I tried to talk him out of it. He sighed and asked, "Mommy, I want to do this. Why can't I ask Jesus to save me now?" I talked with him at length and came to realize he really did understand; so he prayed on December 31, 2005. I saw the Holy Spirit in him after that night. Don't get me wrong... the character and mischief is still there! But so is Jesus.

The days and months flew by; and before I knew it so had the years. I can't believe he is 8! The boy who clung to me for dear life when I tried to leave him at Pre-K now hops out of the car and bounds up the stairs to school without a backward glance. He can still be sweet, though. Even though he spoke very few baby words; one precious word still remains in his vocabulary: "renember" for remember. I cannot bring myself to correct him! The other night, Ephraim fell asleep in my lap. After Charles took Ephraim to bed, Nathan said to me, "Mommy, you can sit with me in the big chair if you want to." This may not sound like much of an invitation, but it is huge for an 8-year-old boy! He still crawls into bed with me in the mornings just before I wake up. These precious moments will disappear so gradually that I won't notice exactly when they go, but I will wake up one day and realize they are gone.

Disney's Water Parks

2008-04-26T14:12:00.000-07:00

Matthew (left)

Nathan on a water slide

Nathan

Ephraim

This was our first trip to Disney during the warm months since 2000, so we had the opportunity to try out the water parks. The older boys loved them! Ephraim fell and skinned his knee and didn't want to risk losing his band-aid on the day we went to Blizzard Beach, so he skipped that one. I was glad... Typhoon Lagoon had more for preschoolers than Blizzard Beach; although Blizzard Beach had a nice area for both babies and "tweenagers."

It is really taking me awhile to blog about our vacation! I am entering the busiest time of our year... April thru June... when every single weekend is taken up with one or more birthday celebrations and/or a holiday or anniversary. I will probably not blog regularly until July!

To complicate matters, we have two children graduating this year... no, not from high school! Matthew is graduating from the 5th grade (since middle school starts in 6th now) and Ephraim is graduating from preschool. Ouch on both accounts! I can't believe either of them has grown so quickly!

Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios

2008-04-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

Ephraim's Brown Cow

Ephraim, Matthew, and Nathan

The "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" Playground at Hollywood Studios

The Sci-Fi Drive In Diner

Ephraim, Petting Zoo Tour Guide

If you know Ephraim, you know we spent some time at Animal Kingdom. Matthew and Nathan were wanting to move along to the more thrilling attractions... but nothing at Disney World was any more thrilling than finding a brown cow in the "Affection Section" petting zoo!

The Kilimanjaro Safari was another big hit. We didn't have our camera the first time we rode it, because it had been raining and still looked threatening. Oh, I regret not having the ability to video on that first safari ride! Ephraim was so sweet, and so in his own little world! He was so excited about every animal we saw, and even told a few of them he loved them! I remember in particular as we passed the elephants, he said,"Bye, elephant! I love you elephant!" in his sweet little four-year-old almost whisper!

I took my camera on the second safari ride, but he never said the same thing again. He was still cute, though!

Ephraim, Safari Tour Guide

Disney's Fort Wilderness Cabins

2008-04-16T07:17:00.001-07:00

We decided to go with a cabin for our Disney vacation, because of the kitchen and living area. When you have 3 children, being able to spread out is of utmost importance!

The cabin was very cute, and we were able to spread out in some ways. I think it was the right choice for us this year, but I know we'll never choose Fort Wilderness cabins again for a couple of reasons:

Bus transportation to and from the campgrounds (which includes the cabins) takes twice as long as other Disney resorts because you have to take a separate bus to get to your cabin once you arrive at Fort Wilderness. So, it takes 20 minutes to get from the Magic Kingdom to Fort Wilderness... and then another 20 minutes to get to your cabin. The total travel time for every place we went was a minimum of 40 minutes... not good with 3 rambunctious kids!
There were very few drawers in the cabins... much less drawer space than a regular hotel room... which meant 5 people were living out of 5 suitcases for an entire week. That kind of cut down on the benefit of having enough space to spread out!

The campground, like much of Florida, is a swamp. We had a GREAT time with no mosquitoes... but we ARE talking about a cabin in the middle of an honest-to-goodness swamp. I'm not sure what the experience would be like during the summer!
I don't know HOW many lizards my boys caught in the swamp right outside the door of our cabin. My fear for my boys was, if the lizards like living in the swamp so much, maybe their friends the snakes are living here, too! I warned my boys of this, but it did not deter them from sneaking into the swamp to catch another lizard. I think a nice room on the 12th floor of a different resort might be a little safer for my adventurers!

Disney is expensive... there is no getting around that. Staying in a cabin or a suite is more expensive than a regular room, but we thought we would save money by eating some meals in the cabin. We ended up buying the meal plan that included one table service, one quick meal, and one snack per day. Thank goodness we bought the meal plan with travel time being so long, because we only ate breakfast in the cabin. We wouldn't have gotten to do everything in the parks if we had eaten every meal in the cabin.

We loved the meal plan! That table service meal (translated sit-down dinner) was priceless for parents with 3 kids! This sounds bad, but I just love having people bring me my food! We spent about the same amount on the meal plan as we had spent buying food (mostly quick-service) on previous trips; so it was definitely worth it for us. Charles and I were actually able to eat healthy once a day for about the same price as fast food all day. That worked well for us... but we do have 3 boys and they REALLY eat a lot (chicken fingers and french fries, anyway).

Next time, I think we will stay in a hotel room on the monorail (Grand Floridian maybe?) which will significantly cut travel time; buy the deluxe meal plan, and pay for child care a couple of times if we start to feel claustrophobic!

12 Hour Window for Stitches!

2008-04-15T16:07:00.001-07:00

We had been back from Disney World for less than 24 hours.

Ephraim decided to climb on top of our high-top dining room table to look at something...

He slipped and fell; and as he fell he sliced his lower lip open when his mouth hit the edge of the table.

Charles held him and checked first for broken teeth (this is my first assumption when I see a child with blood pouring out of his mouth, since my brother knocked his two front teeth out of his mouth FOUR times!) There was a lot of blood, but his teeth looked fine. I went over to the table to see if I could tell what had happened... I was still looking for teeth or teeth marks, really... when Charles said the words a mother never wants to hear...

"Oh, my God... Samantha, you need to come look at this."

Ephraim's lower lip was gaping completely open, as if it had been intentionally sliced and pulled apart. In addition, it looked like a chunk of meat was missing.

I took him immediately to the Pediatric Emergency Center... a bit wary because of previous experiences there... but breathed a sigh of relief to see my own doctor's name listed as the physician on duty. Praise God!

A few hours later, after inhaling the coughs of a dozen children sick enough to be contagious but who would NOT (I knew) receive any antibiotics in this day and age and had therefore waited (and coughed on Ephraim and me) needlessly; I asked Dr. Ellison if I did the right thing by bringing Ephraim in or if I should have waited until the next day to see if the wound really needed stitches.

He said you have to get stitches within 12 hours of an injury, or it will be too late because the wound will begin to heal. In Ephraim's case, this could have been very bad because his lip was split beyond his lip line. If a lip is not torn beyond the lip line, stitches are not necessary; but anything beyond that may not align properly when it heals.

Who knew?

There was really no danger that I wouldn't take Ephraim to the Emergency Center because of the way his lip looked; but the 12 hour time limit is a good thing to know.

Pictures from Peru

2008-04-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

I will try to upload more pictures to Facebook when I have time!

Hoping for snow.... the tale of a truly southern boy

2008-03-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

Matthew and Ephraim at Disney World During Christmas of 2006

Poor Ephraim!

We are planning a trip to Disney World during the warm months. Ephraim rarely stops talking... it's just constant chatter all of the time... so I sometimes miss some of the precious things he says, I'm sure. However, I'm glad I didn't miss this one!

He said recently, "Well, when we go to Disney World, we'll build a snow man!"

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A bit surprised, I asked, "What did you say?"

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"It snows in Disney World," he replied matter-of-factly. "When we go, we will play in the snow and build a snow man."

It took me a moment to understand what he was talking about... and then it dawned on me. The only "snow" Ephraim has ever seen (with the exception of about 25 flurries a few weeks ago) is the fake snow Disney World produces at Hollywood Studios and the Magic Kingdom during Christmas!

He was not happy when I tried to explain that it probably would not snow in Orlando OR that the snow we saw during Christmas of 2006 was actually made out of soap. In fact, I could tell he thought I had lost my mind. He knew it would snow at Disney World any time of year.

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Maybe Blizzard Beach will make up for the lack of snow!

Nathan tasting "snow" at Disney World!

Our Pristine Swimming Pool

2008-03-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

Charles is doing an excellent job of keeping our swimming pool clear and clean over the winter... just look how much these guys are enjoying it!

It's probably a good thing he didn't see the ducks taking a swim...

Mission to the Amazon Jungle in Peru

2008-03-08T07:51:00.000-08:00

It was snowing in Columbus when they left. Charles has been craving an adventure in the snow... but that's not what he'll be getting on this trip!

They are scouting out an area of the jungle to see what type of long-term mission opportunities might be feasible for MBC on a long-term basis. This particular area was abandoned by a previous church, and I can understand how that could happen. Airfare to Peru is very expensive; and the accommodations once you arrive are... well... a tent in the jungle. The Amazon Jungle. They have to travel to their site in a boat down the Amazon River for about 4 hours. After the boat ride, I believe they are also backpacking a small distance. It's not the type of mission trip that will appeal to everyone!

Here are some of the things that might discourage the average person from a trip to the Amazon:

"The Willy Fish" (I didn't make up the name; I'm just repeating what it's called!) Learn about this clever little guy with this clip originally aired on Animal Planet:

Piranhas.

The Anaconda (and other critters). Here, you can learn how to survive an Anaconda bite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72QsTwxqDmg

Very interesting!

I'm not really worried about the guys in the Amazon. However, I did tell Charles to stay out of the Amazon River. I know piranhas are only attracted to the smell of blood... but why test the theory? I saw the movie Piranha in my formative years, and I can guarantee you I am not ever getting in the water with any piranhas! No Way!

Here is the trailer for the movie that forever shaped my opinion of bathing in the Amazon River:

Crazy in Love

2008-02-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

This is dedicated to my very young friends...

When Charles and I met, we had that special "spark" right away. We met in June of 1995 on my first day at MBC, and hung out together over the summer in a big group of friends. We finally went to the movies alone in September, I think... and that was the beginning of dating. We were engaged at Christmas and married the following June in a simple church ceremony. Why the rush? It's simple... we couldn't WAIT to be married!

Now, I don't ordinarily recommend marrying so quickly. However, we were both seeking the Lord when we found each other... and we were 26 and 25 (so we had a little maturity on us); and we just knew it was right.

After becoming engaged, my goal was to plan a wedding as quickly as possible. Once we decided to get married, we couldn't wait to get started on our lives together! I was in graduate school, so the wedding had to be between quarters. June 15th gave us enough time for a honeymoon, so that was the date!

I looked forward to my wedding day; but my main wish throughout it all was to be Mrs. Charles Ellis. I wanted a church wedding, but I didn't want to go into debt for one day. A lot of frivolous items normally associated with weddings didn't really matter to me, so it was easy to cut corners.

There were only 2 things I kind of regretted at the time.

First, I borrowed my childhood friend's wedding dress... which I loved doing because I love her and was honored to wear her beautiful dress... but I felt a little twinge of regret at not having a wedding dress to pass down to my future daughters. Well, that is obviously no longer a regret because I have 3 sons. God knew I didn't need a wedding dress, and He probably prompted Deborah to offer hers!

The second thing I kind of wanted was dancing at my wedding. I chose a simple reception over dancing; and God worked that one out, too. We were surprised by how exhausted we felt after our short ceremony and reception; and were relieved we didn't still have several hours of dancing ahead of us!

I am fortunate to have a wonderful example of commitment in the legacy of both sets of my grandparents... each couple was married for 63 years. Isn't that amazing?

My mother's parents, George and Clara, married very young. After her death, we were going through their papers and I noticed her birthdate on her wedding certificate didn't match the date on her birth certificate. After looking at it a few minutes, we realized she had lied about her age to get married! We laughed and cried, imagining my Grandma at 15 wanting so badly to marry my Grandpa that they pretended she was 18! Despite their youth, 63 years.

My father's parents, Allen and Frances, also married young. They met while he was stationed at Ft. Benning, about to be deployed in World War II. They married after a whirlwind courtship, and then he went overseas and fought in Europe for over 3 years. He survived to return home to her. Again, 63 years.

What makes a wedding perfect? What makes a girl feel like a princess on her wedding day?

Perfect flowers, perfect dresses, perfect food, perfect decorations, and dancing... these are all good things. However, the girls I see screaming on TV if these things aren't just right... girls dubbed by the media as bridezillas... these girls are depending on things to make them feel like a princess... and my heart aches for what they are missing.

I have found the one whom my soul loves... Song of Solomon 3:4

I'm glad I was like my Grandma, Clara, who married the man she wanted to marry despite obstacles. I'm glad I wasn't 15 when I did it... but she lived in a different time, and that was right for her. Charles was right for me.

Marriage is hard, even for those who couldn't wait to be married. However, the advantage of marrying someone you couldn't wait to marry is this: "crazy in love" in a committed marriage turns into a comfortable love, but the "crazy" is never completely gone. It comes back every once in awhile, and it's wonderful at any age - from 15 to 89.

Wait on God. He has a plan for you, and you don't want to miss it by making your own plans!
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Crazy Hair

2008-02-07T18:30:00.000-08:00

Wednesday was crazy hair day at AWANA. I have had 4 cans of colored hairspray (blue, red, purple, and orange) for 2 years now; and after carrying them across town in our recent move, I was looking to get rid of them. Nathan chose red, and I emptied the can on his head. Ephraim chose blue, and I used nearly all of it on his hair. Matthew said he would pass.

Two cans left: orange and purple. Hmmm... I am an AWANA leader, so I decided to show a little spirit and have crazy hair too. I tossed the orange can... frankly, I have no idea why I bought orange hairspray in the first place because NO ONE in my house would put orange on their heads. (Sorry, Auburn fans!) So, I sprayed purple hairspray all over my hair.

AWANA was fine... the kids got a kick out of my hair... I came home and finished typing a report Matthew had written for school and didn't get around to washing my hair until about 9:30. I washed my hair a couple of times and thought I had gotten it all because the water ran clear... got out of the shower and looked in the mirror...

My hair was a light shade of magenta. You know, like the dog on Blues Clues that had to get glasses back around 2001? Magenta.

I didn't panic. I had used my high-dollar shampoo that I use to keep my "low-lights" from fading. I groaned inwardly, thinking about my recently added low-lights. I knew I would lose all of my brown streaks if I used regular shampoo... but I had to get rid of the magenta. Reluctantly, I reached for the Pert and called for Charles to help me.

Charles is a good husband. He washed my hair first with the expensive stuff; a second time with Pert; and a third time with clarifying shampoo strong enough to clean your kitchen floor.

My hair was still magenta.

I decided maybe I should check the hairspray bottle for possible warnings. Aha! It said, "Warning: Do not use on bleached hair. May not wash out."

Bleached hair describes half of my head, because I have highlights. I dried my hair and surveyed the damage. It wasn't entirely bad... some girls do this kind of thing on purpose...

I no longer had blonde highlights. Instead, I had light brown hair with beautiful streaks of magenta. It looked like a professional job. Well, except for the magenta part.

By this time, it was 10:30. I was scheduled to work the next day as a substitute teacher!

Did I mention Charles is a good husband? He went to Wal-mart and scoured the hair-coloring isle and got me a nice box of brown to try and cover the magenta. He called me from his cell phone and called out names of different colors.

I asked him how "ash brown" looked on the box. This question was apparently too much. His answer was short and to the point. "Brown," he said.

I said, "All right, that sounds good, just get that one."

I got up early this morning and applied the brown coloring. It looks a lot better; now my hair is a pretty brown color with a purple hue towards the bottom.

Nathan watched my hair all the way to school. He seemed impressed by the way the purple highlights changed hues depending on the amount of sunlight entering my side of the car.

Matthew reassured me that it was nothing to be ashamed of. He said, "After all, no one ever reads the directions."

The Strong-Willed Child

2008-01-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

Which one?

That depends.

What day is it?

Is there a child who isn't strong-willed?

Not at my house!

I bought my well-worn copy of The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson about 10 years ago when my oldest child, Matthew, was four months old. You might be wondering how it is possible at 4 months to discern such a thing about your baby. We knew Matthew was strong-willed about 3 days after he came into the world!

However, strong-willed children can be tricky. Sometimes, they are easy-going... and because they are so pleasant and good-natured; you are completely deceived into thinking your "easy baby" is not strong-willed.

Nathan was like this. Matthew had been very picky and made his preferences known LOUDLY from birth. On the other hand, nothing really bothered Nathan until he became a toddler and learned the word, "No." Out of nowhere, Nathan's will of steel was laid bare for all to see! Whenever Nathan made a decision, NOTHING changed his mind. He would always consider the cost (whether it be the loss of a privilege or a spanking); and he always decided getting his way was worth ANY consequence!

Nathan never reconsidered an opinion once he had formed it until after he prayed to receive Christ at age 5. After that, the Holy Spirit changed Nathan's heart and he became a different person... still strong-willed, but more likely to make a stand for good than for anything else. Despite his age at conversion, he is one of the best examples I have ever seen of the influence of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Ephraim was also a little tricky to discern as strong-willed. As a baby, he crumbled anytime we told him "No." I thought to myself, finally one who won't argue with me! Alas, the honeymoon has ended. Now, I never know what he is going to say when I tell him "no" or send him to time-out. Here are a few of my favorites:

Don't say no, Mommy! No is a bad word!
Don't say no, Mommy! No hurts my feelings!
I can't go to bed. It makes me sick.
I can't eat my (healthy) food. It makes my tummy sad.
I can't (you name it, he can't do it). I have to play with my animals.
Daddy made a bad choice. Daddy told me no. No is a bad word!
I can't go to time out. Time out makes me sad!
I can't go to time-out. Mrs Linda (his teacher) said no more time-outs!

There are more, but I can't think of them at the moment.

Being strong-willed doesn't end in the toddler years. I won't go into details because I don't want to embarrass my child; but there are definitely challenges as we approach the "tweenage" years. Parenting is hard work!

My prayer is for my children to take their strong wills and use them for good, as Nathan (the prophet) did when he confronted King David about his affair with Bathsheeba and the murder of her husband. What courage the prophet Nathan had! He stood up for what was right in a postition that could have ended very badly for him.

A perfect example of how God can use a strong-willed man for good.

I apologize for any mispelled words and for all of the dashes (-) in this post... "spell-check" and "return" are not working properly on Blogspot at the moment, and I am finding it hard to write and edit without them! Veggie Tales is playing in the background; and somehow, I cannot concentrate well enough to find my mistakes!

A Christian Mom's Review of The Golden Compass and Philip Pullman's Trilogy

2008-01-03T15:10:00.000-08:00

I finished reading the trilogy by Philip Pullman, His Dark Materials, several weeks ago. I wanted to take some time for reflection before blogging my review.

The first question on every parent's mind is, "Should I let my child see the movie?" This was definitely my question after receiving various email warnings from people who had not seen the movie or read the book. I decided to read the trilogy rather than see the movie; mainly because seeing The Golden Compass would segue to Matthew reading all three books, anyway. I needed to do my research.

The answer to every parent's question is, No, you should not allow your children to see The Golden Compass. The underlying premise of the story is the idea that original sin does not exist. Satan tempting Eve with the apple is depicted as a good thing; and Satan and all of the other fallen angels are painted as rebels on the side of good. God, on the other hand, is shown as the bad guy... punishing mankind for Eve eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Pullman weaves his story around the idea of God as a weak-minded control freak who sucks the fun out of life with all of His rules.

Pullman doesn't address Christ at all. Well, of course he doesn't mention Jesus. How could he? Mentioning Jesus would unravel the plot.

Anyway, the three books follow the main character, Lyra, and several others as they try to determine which side is actually good (the church and God or the fallen angels and Satan). At the end of the third book, God is destroyed.

I found the trilogy entertaining in a sick kind of way; mainly because I had just finished Beth Moore's Bible study Daniel, which really digs into the prophesies concerning end times. His Dark Materials is like a fun house mirror reflection of Genesis, Daniel, and Revelation all rolled into one. It reminds me of when my children try to explain how something happened and put their own slant on it. (I didn't actually kick him, Mommy. He ran into my foot! I didn't say he was a loser to be mean, Mommy. I was talking about the time he lost when we played that board game, remember?) Through Philip Pullman's stories, I had the feeling I was listening to a rebellious, but very persuasive child, telling his side of the story. It was amazing to see how many different ways Phillip Pullman came up with to dismiss or explain away scripture.

Anyway, children shouldn't see this movie because the trilogy is headed in a direction you don't want to go. Pullman is a gifted author and convincing story-teller. I was grateful for the timing of my last Bible study. Know your scripture before reading this...

As far as explaining to my kids why we wouldn't be seeing the movie; I just told the truth, short and simple. I said, "The books depict God as the bad guy and Satan as the good guy, and in the end God is killed. It's totally unrealistic and goes completely against the Bible." They didn't seem at all interested once they knew the plot. I think it really helped, though, that I read the books before telling them we couldn't see the movie. They knew for sure that I knew what I was talking about.

It's Hard to be 4

2007-12-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

Ephraim and I spend about an hour on the road each morning. We take his brothers to school first, and then have about 20 - 30 minutes before his preschool begins. A couple of weeks ago, Ephraim told me as we were driving that he didn't want to go to school that day. I don't let him play hooky from preschool, because I'm afraid that will set an expectation in Kindergarten that will be hard to change... so I laughed in an upbeat voice, "Ephraim! You have to go to school!"

Ephraim sighed heavily and said in a very serious voice, "It's hard to be 4."

I just love children at age 3 and 4! Despite the attitude that often accompanies the age... I just love seeing their little personalities emerge! It eases the pain of not having a baby any more to see your children just get so much more... well, interesting as they get older.

When Matthew was 3, I was still working full time. He didn't want me to go to work one day. I tried to reason with him by saying, "Matthew, I have to go to work to make money so that we can buy toys." He just cried harder, and said,"I don't want you to buy toys. I just want you to stay home with me!"

Matthew was in a Christian Daycare that year, and his teacher tried to teach the children about Jesus. I don't know exactly what she taught, but I suspect it was a bit over the children's' heads. Matthew tried to process it, but was definitely more disturbed than enlightened.
He asked me one day, "Mommy, if Jesus lives inside my heart... isn't it dark in there?"
On another occasion he asked, "If Jesus lives in my heart... what does he do when he has to go to the bathroom?"

Nathan has been a huge Spiderman fan since he was 3 years old. When he was 4, he was playing at his friend Parks' house and the two of them found a spider. Luckily, Parks' Mom Leah was close by, because she heard Nathan saying, "Oooh... I wonder if I let this spider bite me if I will be like Spiderman?" Thank goodness Leah quickly intervened!

After I picked Ephraim up from preschool today, he and I were talking about his brothers. I said something like, "You sure do love your brothers, don't you?" At first, he agreed... but then though better of it.

"Mommy!" He exclaimed indignantly. "I'm not a girl!"

Startled, I asked, "What do you mean, Ephraim? Boys love, too!"
He completely dismissed the notion. "No, they don't Mommy. Boys don't have hearts!"

An hour later, Ephraim was a little sleepy. He followed me around the kitchen very persistently. After a few minutes, I picked him up and held him close. He stayed in my arms for about 10 minutes... a very long time for a 4-year-old boy. "I love you, Ephraim," I told him.

"I love you, too, Mommy," he said quietly.

God's gift to me in the midst of Alzheimer's: One last glimpse of her

2007-11-27T18:03:00.000-08:00

My last living grandparent, Frances Tabor, died on New Year's Day of 2007. It's hard to believe she died just this year, though; she had been gone from herself since at least the year 2000.

She was my father's mother, born the youngest of seven children in Butler, Georgia. She was a southern lady in every was imaginable... from her cooking to her southern manners... We lived about an hour apart for most of my life; so I spent a lot of time at her house.

My brother Ben and I spent many weeks during the summer at our grandparents' house. I can't remember exactly how we spent the time, except that while we were there; my grandparents REALLY paid attention to us. When I was really little, my grandmother used to play on the floor with me and all of my stuffed animals. We used to play around her coffee table and used the legs as a part of their pretend house, and she knew all of my stuffed animals' names. Later, she entertained me by answering my endless questions about the past; as well as telling me stories from her childhood. When I was a teenager, she became my shopping buddy, and we spent endless hours walking the malls. When I went to college in Athens, my grandparents helped me immensely by sending me money and visiting often; they also gave me rides when I wanted to visit home. As a young adult, my first "real" job was near Chattanooga. I was young and in a town where I knew no one; and since I worked with mental patients, work did not exactly open doors to friends my age! In my loneliness, my grandparents phoned and visited me often.

After getting married and having a baby, my grandmother and I hit the malls once again with renewed interest; now we were searching for baby boy outfits! Things should have been wonderful and perfect... but something changed within her. It was so gradual that I didn't notice it at first; but looking back, it is all very clear now.

Alzheimer's for Grandmama began with an inability to drop it when someone slighted her. We all do it... you know, someone says something rude and you think about what you wish you'd said for the next day or so... a complete waste of time, but very human. Well, she began holding onto grievances against people the way a dog chews on a bone... she just couldn't let it go. We didn't recognize this as dementia; rather, we thought she was just getting a bit cantankerous. It surfaced with everyone to some extent; and then once day exploded on me. She wanted to allow Matthew to do a number of things I didn't agree with. In hindsight, I would have done things SO DIFFERENTLY if I had any idea she was sick. However, I didn't know and just told her like I would have told anyone... that I was the mother and I would be making the decisions.

Note: Really pray about it before you take this approach with someone who is old enough to develop Alzheimer's and has developed a recent tendency to hold grudges to an extreme.

Grandmama shocked me by telling me she never wanted anything to do with me again. I still didn't know she was sick, so I had no idea where this was coming from. I tried and tried to apologize... letters and even a video tape just made it worse. She was done with me and I just couldn't believe it.

The worst part was that she had not lost any of her memory yet. This was a double-edged sword: painful in part because I couldn't blame her hatred on the disease, and also painful because she said true things to me about my character that made her dislike of me all the more believable.

Our separation lasted 9 long months. After nine months passed, I had really given up. I had accepted being disowned. Then, out of the blue, Grandmama called. I answered the phone and heard that familiar, "Sammy?" I couldn't believe she'd called. I will never forget how broken she sounded. Her voice was weak as if she'd been crying, and she said she didn't know how things had ever gotten so far. We both apologized and she said she wanted us to be a family again. I wanted it to happen, but it really never did.

In The Velveteen Rabbit, the rabbit becomes real after being loved on for so many years. Many of the older women in my life, like some of the ones in my Bible study group, seem to get more real with age. I love watching their girlish expressions when they say something naughty... the creases on their faces are so beautiful in the way they make expressions. They seem so alive!

Once Grandmama became sick, she was no longer like the beautiful older women in my Bible study. She didn't become more animated with age after becoming sick. She couldn't joke or even connect with me anymore. It was as if her body was a shell and still contained the memory of her... but no longer actually contained her. Unlike the Velveteen Rabbit, she didn't seem real anymore.

Over time, Alzheimer's made her aggressive with everyone except (ironically) me. I had learned my lesson, and was very careful with my tone. This seemed to be the key, because she never turned on me again. However, she was unpredictable and at times physically violent. I didn't feel confident about taking the kids to see her... I took them some, but fear kept me from going as often as I should have gone.

Eventually, she could no longer make new memories. I ended up guessing when her illness began based on the memories she retained. She always remembered Matthew, but in the end forgot Nathan. He was born in 2000. After she died in 2007, I realized while going through her home and belongings that her illness began much sooner than even 2000. We found unpaid bills, among other things, hidden away in envelopes all over her house. The earliest date for these strangely filed or hidden items was a decade before her death.

Just how long does Alzheimer's last? When do you get it? Do I have it now? Does Charles? Is there something I'm eating, or cooking with, or breathing that I should avoid?

No one knows.

On Christmas of 2006, I took my older boys to visit her. She was in terrible shape mentally... By this point, most of her conversations were a series of loops... a string of phrases she would utter in order again and again. Real conversation was impossible because she couldn't remember from one second to the next what had been said. Still, I tried that day. I began talking about the things we used to do together. Suddenly, the blank look in her eyes was filled with recognition, and she said"Those were the best days of my life." I looked at her with shock. She was there! I could see the real Grandmama behind her eyes. I told her, " You were a really good grandmother. " We both cried as I am crying now. It was the last time I saw her alive.

I thank God for that moment when she was real again. I'm so glad it ended that way; a real moment between us. The last 7 years had been so hard. Thank you, Jesus, for letting those be our last word to each other here on earth!

In His Hands

2007-10-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't been blogging much. I compose blogs in my head... I REALLY want to document this time in my life while my children are young...

We have been SO BUSY since we moved! I packed everything so carefully... too carefully, I am now realizing. I even took the pictures out of their frames just in case the glass broke! Now, there are pictures and frames all over my living room and dining room. The chaos is driving me crazy!

We've had many little things keeping us occupied and busy; but there was one major event worth mentioning. Our house backs up to a lake and a walking trail, so we've headed out the back door on many occasions to either feed the ducks or go for a walk. From the moment we first moved in, I occasionally noticed a faint gas smell. It wasn't inside the house or even right next to the house... it was about 4 feet away from the back door! Charles couldn't smell it at all, so I thought maybe I was smelling some strange plant or something. I got on my hands and knees and sniffed the wall along the entire backside of my house... nothing. I went under the house into the crawls space and sniffed... nothing. I got on my knees and sniffed all around the hot water heater... nothing. I tried to forget about it.

A couple of weeks ago, on a Thursday night; I woke up in the middle of the night thinking, "I've got to get that gas smell checked!" I hadn't had a dream, exactly... it was more of just waking up with a single thought in my head. I was thinking, "What if the house blows up while I'm substitute teaching tomorrow... what if my husband and my 4-year-old blow up?"

I looked over at Charles, but he was sound asleep. I didn't smell gas and hadn't noticed an increase in the smell outside, so I shrugged it off and went back to sleep. With three children, our sleep is disturbed plenty as it is... I knew I shouldn't wake him over a "what if?"

I shrugged off the feeling and went back to sleep. By morning, I had forgotten all about it.

That evening, Nathan had a friend spend the night. We walked to the playground; and when we returned Charles and I both smelled a strong odor about 4 feet from the house. We both walked around the yard, trying to pinpoint the source.

I decided to play it safe this time and called the gas company. The woman answering emergency calls was very matter of fact, and instructed me to open all of the windows and doors. She said not to turn on any lights or appliances that were not already on, and not to light any candles or matches. I remembered my feeling of fear the night before, and her words did not comfort me!

While we were waiting for a gas company service man to arrive and check for a leak, we just sat there discussing her instructions. Since the gas smell was only on the outside, we decided against opening the doors and windows. The workman arrived and did indeed discover a leak. He said it was probably a small leak... but a small gas leak is still a gas leak, and he cut off our service! He assured us he would turn it back on as soon as we had the leak repaired, and left us at about 8:00 PM on a Friday night.

I immediately thought of the rate: time and a half for plumbing work on the weekends! We discussed waiting until Monday... for about 3 seconds. However, the reality is that with three boys and a cub scout fishing expedition scheduled for the next morning; we couldn't be going without baths and showers until Monday! Not to mention the washing machine and dishwasher...

We called the plumber, and they were able to come out the next morning. He dug up the pipe with the small leak; and the metal tubing literally crumbled in his hand when he removed it from the ground. Apparently, the only thing holding that gas pipe together was the ground surrounding it! $1500 later, we had hot water and a much safer house.

As I reflected on the feeling of urgency I'd had Thursday night about the gas smell; I was amazed to realize what God had tried to do for us. I ignored the "feeling" or "intuition" of course, and paid the consequences (time and a half!) Some might say God saved us from an explosion... and He did in a way, because no explosion was going to happen outside His will. But in addition to that, I believe He was trying to save us that $500 that we had to pay for having it repaired Saturday instead of Friday. What other explanation is there for me waking up with a sense of urgency Thursday night, when we didn't notice the increase in smell until Friday night? God wasn't wringing His hands, thinking "Oh, I hope they don't blow up!" No, He knew He wasn't done with us. When He is done with us, we'll be gone; no matter how careful we've been.

The trail that almost led to Bozeman

2007-09-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I mentioned the acronym BUSY (Buried Under Satan's Yoke). Today, I have another:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Do you know what I mean? Has this ever happened to you?

First, allow me to give credit where credit is due... I did not come up with this... Beth Moore used this acronym in Session One (video) of her Bible Study entitled The Patriarchs. I wish I could remember exactly what she said, but it has probably been six months since I heard it. However, the gist was that one of our enemy's best tools is taking something completely untrue and making it seem true.

The first example in history of this happening is, of course, Eve. "Surely you will not die..." the serpent whispered cunningly. He was twisting reality, focusing on the physical world, as if that was Eve's only reality. But our reality includes the spiritual world where separation from God (spiritual death) is the consequence for sin. By distracting Eve from spiritual matters and encouraging her to focus on her material world, Satan set her up for her fall. I'm not excusing her choice, nor am I excusing any of my bad choices. Rather, I am suggesting we be prepared before we are tempted by being on guard against that false evidence appearing real.

Beth also said another tool Satan uses in his deception is making real evidence of God appear false. There are so many miracles our culture explains away by science, luck, etc. Childbirth, the Grand Canyon, being in the right place at the right time... you name it, we can come up with a reason for it. Read The Screw Tape Letters by C.S. Lewis if you haven't before. It is such as EASY read... nothing like his other stuff... and it does a really good job of poking fun at the way Satan works. Yet, when you read it, despite the humor, you will think, "That's EXACTLY how it happens!"

I am here to stand against FEAR. I am going to share real evidence of God that could appear false without Faith. I hope my story will be helpful to some... maybe one day to my children as they look back on 2007.

For many years, Charles has been drawn to mission work. He has not been trained in evangelism, but he really likes to go and help people in a physical way. In 2006, we began talking about the possibility of becoming a missionary family in a foreign country. We explored the posts available with the IMB, and Charles talked to some people in charge of placement. However, we never felt a peace about anything we explored. Things that appealed to me didn't appeal to him, and vice-versa. In the fall, we heard a missionary from Montana talk about opportunities available in the state, especially near Billings, to minister to the Native Americans. When we got home that evening, we were united in thought for the first time since we had begun exploring missions. We both thought, "We can do this!" The great thing about Montana was that they needed people to move there and join fledgling churches... people who could be gainfully employed outside of the church. Charles works remotely for a company out of Delaware, so this was definitely doable for us.

We were excited about what we felt was a calling, but we didn't know where to begin. Charles was friends with our pastor, and asked his advice. He said he would pray for us. A few weeks later, our pastor called Charles and asked him to go for a drive. He told Charles he was planning to move to Bozeman Montana to plant a Baptist church, and asked if Charles and I would consider going with him to Bozeman to help get things started. Both men were elated at the idea of the adventure, and it really seemed like a confirmation of the calling to learn another family was being called to the same general area. We did not have a specific destination in mind before hearing of the church plant... so we settled on Bozeman and began to think of that as our mission.

We decided to travel to Bozeman over spring break to make sure I could handle the cold and to check out housing and schools. Our pastor's wife is a teacher, so they went out at the same time and we met up for a few meals. As we fellowshipped, we marvelled at the scenery and the majesty of God's creation. Charles and I were not sure we could afford to move in 2007, but we encountered many things that made us really want to do it. In the short time we were there, I found a ladies' Bible Study... they were doing a study and they wondered if I'd ever heard of the author... a lady named Beth Moore? Are you kidding?!! She is only my FAVORITE! Beth scolds us to study under a variety of teachers and I try to, but she is the only one who NEVER loses my attention). We found a perfect community with a neighborhood school, a lake for fishing, and a gorgeous view of the mountain range. I discovered a free-lance music therapist who was planning to begin working full-time and may have to give up some of her part-time gigs (I was a music therapist in my other lifetime, before marriage and kids... was this a way to work part-time for traveling home money?)

There were many signs that Montana was where God wanted us. However, I can also see looking back that there were also signs that we should proceed with caution. The first sign for me was when I asked if we could "drive over" to an Indian reservation. I had in mind shopping for some authentic blankets. Charles looked at me blankly, and then said, "There are no reservations near Bozeman." I returned his blank look and wondered, "Then what are we doing here?" We had both read Bury My heart at Wounded Knee, along with anything and everything else we could find about Native American History. We were so eager to, in some small way, help the nations living within our nation who have had so much stolen from them. I could not believe we were headed to the part of Montana that seemed furthest from the reservations.

Another sign was the cost of living in Bozeman. Bozeman was the only area in Montana where the cost of living was actually higher than Georgia. However, Belgrade was only 6 miles from Bozeman; and we were able to find new housing for about the same price as new housing in Columbus. The disadvantage here was that we prefer old houses because of their lower cost... but we couldn't find any older houses in the area we liked. This made us wonder. We choose older houses because we like to live beneath our means... was it God's will for us to live differently? Or was that where the music therapy would eventually come in?

Another caution sign should have been the amount of time our pastor was called away when he attempted to disciple us. He had us buy two books and planned to go through them with us as a small group study. However, two separate severe illnesses of close family members prevented him from meeting with us in Bible study even one time.

Despite these snags, we had a passion for Montana; and we decided to sweep these "uh-oh" feelings under the rug. We put our house up for sale, and took a wild ride through the land of spiritual attack. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Every paint project we tackled has some sort of snag... paint not drying, paint peeling off, paint not covering, paint not adhering to primer. I do a LOT of painting and buy only the best products and pretty much know what I am doing... but NOTHING turned out right. Once I even lost a can of kiltz, even though I knew exactly where it was. Skeptics will scoff at this, but some of you will believe. The Kiltz was on my paint shelf and I knew where it was... but I could not see it. It was as if scales were over my eyes. I kid you not, I could not find the paint until Charles and I both prayed for God to reveal it. After praying, my eyes went immediately to the Kiltz... it was on the shelf, right in front of me. I just couldn't see it until I prayed. Doubt not, I speak the truth!

There were also spiritual attacks of a physical nature that cannot to this day be explained. One night, Ephraim came screaming into my room saying, "Something tried to grab me!" As he climbed into my bed, I noticed my clock was blinking "12:00 AM" I tried to wake Charles because I thought the power must have gone out and sent all of the clocks back to 12:00 AM. My blood ran cold when I realized his clock read "4:30 AM." I made him hold Ephraim while I checked the rest of the house... and discovered that my clock was the only clock that had experienced a disruption in electricity at the exact moment Ephraim felt something grab him.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

FALSE
EVIDENCE
APPEARING
REAL

I took the power of Christ, which has dwelled in me since asking Jesus to be my savior; and I prayed over my entire house... banishing all evil and spirits of evil in the name of Jesus. Satan has no power over Christ in me.

A couple of weeks later, another unexplained event occurred. We had received an offer on our house, and were in the negotiating phase. A DVD came in the mail from Blockbuster online. I had never heard of the title, so I looked up the synopsis online. It said the movie was the only documented occurrence of a true spiritual attack on a child that ended in murder. I yelled for Charles and asked him why he would order something like that after what had happened with the clock. Guess what... you guessed it... neither of us ordered that movie.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Peter 1:7

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Talk about fear. I felt like something had just made a direct threat against my child, and I couldn't see the thing that was threatening me. I took my ipod and headed for the park. As I listened to my favorite worship songs and took in visually the splendor of God, the wind began to blow. I felt God's spirit in the wind... I felt the spirit of God move through my body. I wanted to raise my hands and shout to Him. There were others at the park, so I refrained and spoke to him silently from my heart. I said, "God, I give it all to you. I give my baby to you. You tell me in your word that you have already decided the number of days Ephraim will live... and I know he will live only that number of days whether I got to Montana or stay here... and I'll go, God! Ephraim is yours, and only you can determine how long he will live. I give him to you!"

I went home, and we finalized the contract to sell our house. It was a competitive buyers market, so we agreed to a quick closing with a price that seemed good for the market. A couple of hours later, we got an email from our pastor, saying he was not going to Montana after all.

After all of the spiritual warfare, I still wanted to go. I was determined to go! Charles wanted to go as well, and tried to book a flight for Matthew and I to go find housing. He worked with Delta relentlessly for an hour, both online and by phone; but he absolutely could not get a flight for where Matthew and I could be together. He kept trying because Matthew is 10, and not ready to fly alone. While on hold, Charles heard God say to him (audibly), "You can stop now. This is as far as I want you to go."

Charles hung up the phone and told me about the voice he had heard. We got out his laptop and began searching for a house in Columbus. Later that night, while I was sleeping, I heard a voice whisper in my ear, "Everything is going to be okay now." It was a soothing, intimate voice... like a lover's voice... and it whispered in my ear from behind me. I thought at first it was Charles, but I awoke to find myself lying on my side facing Charles. He wasn't behind me and could not have whispered from that direction. In any case, he was asleep. God had spoken to me as well as to him.

In the end, God led us to a house in Columbus with a neighborhood school, a lake for fishing, and a beautiful view of the lake complete with ducks. Sound familiar? Just what we would have had in Montana, except that we also got our preferred "older home" and a swimming pool to boot!

Ain't no high like THE MOST HIGH! (again, Beth Moore. Sorry, but she just says it so well! And so perfectly southern!)

I pray you are blessed by my testimony. I don't understand everything that happened to us this year... there are a few things I look forward to asking God about. If I think about it too much, it makes my head hurt. But can't the same thing be said of MANY things God does? I am studying Daniel under Beth Moore now, and that can REALLY make your head hurt. God is beyond our understanding... but He's got it all in His hand.

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell ME if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements? Surely you know!
Job 38:4-5

There's a lot we don't know....

This was the view in the neighborhood where we were planning to live in Montana. There was a small lake for fishing (and swimming, if the water was warm enough).

This is the view in our backyard God provided right here in Georgia. You can't swim in the lake, but God graciously gave us a swimming pool! Also, there are ducks to feed and a walking trail. God has been very good to us. He provided not only what we needed, but also the things the boys really wanted.

Are you too busy?

2007-08-27T09:57:00.001-07:00

Have you ever seen the acronym for being too busy? I will never forget the first time I saw it. I was working full-time as a guidance counselor at the Teenage Parenting Center here in Columbus, and I was on my way to take my two children, ages 3 and an infant, to Daycare. As I sped past St. Mark United Methodist Church, and there it was, on their billboard.

Buried
Under
Satan's
Yoke

Being too busy is the one thing that sneaks up on me EVERY SINGLE TIME I get close to reaching my goal of becoming more like Mary, sister of Lazarus.

When I saw that billboard seven years ago, I was involved in a ladies Bible study with a group of young mothers. None of them worked outside the home; and I joined them because as a working mother, especially in a school setting, I was literally starved for interaction with other mothers of preschoolers. The first night I met with them, God gave me the desire to become like them... stay-at-home Moms. It was difficult, but with God's help we managed to get there within about 9 months.

I have now been at home for 6 years. Occasionally, I have worked part-time; but I have mostly been at home taking care of my 3 boys and my husband. One might think it would be easy to sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary when you have no place to be other than the parent-pick-up line at school. Not so... at least, not so for me!

Why not? What exactly do I do all day, you may be thinking? My distractions have varied over these 6 years. Play group; Bible Study; volunteering at the Crisis Pregnancy Center; being room Mom and/or team Mom; teaching Teamkid, Sunday School, and/or AWANA; teaching and/or organizing VBS; being cub scout den leader; driving kids all over town; exercising; and working part-time. Not to mention cooking, shopping, cleaning, and visiting (when possible) my grandparents who all died during the last 7 years.

All of these things were good; and to some extent, I enjoyed doing them all. At the same time, all of these "good" activities combined have buried me alive... choked the true life out of me. The only thing I wish I had done more is visit my grandparents. Everything else distracted me, and knowing I allowed it to happen adds to my sorrow now.

This school year, God has really been convicting me to guard my time more carefully. Naming this blog "Becoming a Mary" helped as I sifted through the many needs in my family's church, school, and community. For example, I felt drawn to respond to a need for counselors at the Crisis Pregnancy Center. As I prayed about it, God gently said, "Yes, it is an important ministry. But because of your children, it's not exactly what I had in mind for you in becoming more like Mary." Ouch.

So... I am trying to forget the guilt I feel over ministries in need and just obey God. My ministries at church this year require no preparation (kids' church and nursery, each about once a month). My ministries as school require a little more: cub scout den leader and room mother... but isn't that what Jesus did? Put his greatest efforts into reaching the world? I'll do a Bible study, ofcourse. Beth Moore's Daniel, and I can't wait! I also signed up to help Morningside implement it's new mission. I want to start walking, and hope to get back to a healthier weight. Despite all of these things, I know some will say I'm not doing much... but I don't answer to man, other than my husband, who supports me doing even less than I am. I answer only to Christ... and He wants me to become more like Mary...

Changing from a Martha to a Mary

2007-07-13T20:06:00.000-07:00

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her." Luke 10:38-41

God has been calling me to begin a blog for some time now. I have ignored and resisted His urgings, however; because this is a very busy season in my life. First and foremost in my heart and mind is the important task God assigned me in raising three men. Can there be a more important calling? I think not. Even so, I know God has also assigned me another task equally important; rather, more important because it is a necessary part of raising three men correctly. God has called me to become more like Mary, the sister of Lazarus and Martha.

I have been like Martha, not Mary, my entire life. I have always been very, very busy. Years ago, God gave me the verse, "Be still and know that I am God..." Sadly, I have never gotten the hang of being still and really knowing God like I should. I have always remained busy, busy, busy. I really want to change, and I believe I will change now because becoming a Mary instead of a Martha is (for the first time) the true desire of my heart.