The Strong-Willed Child

Which one?

That depends.

What day is it?

Is there a child who isn't strong-willed?

Not at my house!

I bought my well-worn copy of The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson about 10 years ago when my oldest child, Matthew, was four months old. You might be wondering how it is possible at 4 months to discern such a thing about your baby. We knew Matthew was strong-willed about 3 days after he came into the world!

However, strong-willed children can be tricky. Sometimes, they are easy-going... and because they are so pleasant and good-natured; you are completely deceived into thinking your "easy baby" is not strong-willed.

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Nathan was like this. Matthew had been very picky and made his preferences known LOUDLY from birth. On the other hand, nothing really bothered Nathan until he became a toddler and learned the word, "No." Out of nowhere, Nathan's will of steel was laid bare for all to see! Whenever Nathan made a decision, NOTHING changed his mind. He would always consider the cost (whether it be the loss of a privilege or a spanking); and he always decided getting his way was worth ANY consequence!

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Nathan never reconsidered an opinion once he had formed it until after he prayed to receive Christ at age 5. After that, the Holy Spirit changed Nathan's heart and he became a different person... still strong-willed, but more likely to make a stand for good than for anything else. Despite his age at conversion, he is one of the best examples I have ever seen of the influence of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Ephraim was also a little tricky to discern as strong-willed. As a baby, he crumbled anytime we told him "No." I thought to myself, finally one who won't argue with me! Alas, the honeymoon has ended. Now, I never know what he is going to say when I tell him "no" or send him to time-out. Here are a few of my favorites:

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• Don't say no, Mommy! No is a bad word!
• Don't say no, Mommy! No hurts my feelings!
• I can't go to bed. It makes me sick.
• I can't eat my (healthy) food. It makes my tummy sad.
• I can't (you name it, he can't do it). I have to play with my animals.
• Daddy made a bad choice. Daddy told me no. No is a bad word!
• I can't go to time out. Time out makes me sad!
• I can't go to time-out. Mrs Linda (his teacher) said no more time-outs!

There are more, but I can't think of them at the moment.

Being strong-willed doesn't end in the toddler years. I won't go into details because I don't want to embarrass my child; but there are definitely challenges as we approach the "tweenage" years. Parenting is hard work!

My prayer is for my children to take their strong wills and use them for good, as Nathan (the prophet) did when he confronted King David about his affair with Bathsheeba and the murder of her husband. What courage the prophet Nathan had! He stood up for what was right in a postition that could have ended very badly for him.

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A perfect example of how God can use a strong-willed man for good.

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I apologize for any mispelled words and for all of the dashes (-) in this post... "spell-check" and "return" are not working properly on Blogspot at the moment, and I am finding it hard to write and edit without them! Veggie Tales is playing in the background; and somehow, I cannot concentrate well enough to find my mistakes!

A Christian Mom's Review of The Golden Compass and Philip Pullman's Trilogy

I finished reading the trilogy by Philip Pullman, His Dark Materials, several weeks ago. I wanted to take some time for reflection before blogging my review.

The first question on every parent's mind is, "Should I let my child see the movie?" This was definitely my question after receiving various email warnings from people who had not seen the movie or read the book. I decided to read the trilogy rather than see the movie; mainly because seeing The Golden Compass would segue to Matthew reading all three books, anyway. I needed to do my research.

The answer to every parent's question is, No, you should not allow your children to see The Golden Compass. The underlying premise of the story is the idea that original sin does not exist. Satan tempting Eve with the apple is depicted as a good thing; and Satan and all of the other fallen angels are painted as rebels on the side of good. God, on the other hand, is shown as the bad guy... punishing mankind for Eve eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Pullman weaves his story around the idea of God as a weak-minded control freak who sucks the fun out of life with all of His rules.

Pullman doesn't address Christ at all. Well, of course he doesn't mention Jesus. How could he? Mentioning Jesus would unravel the plot.

Anyway, the three books follow the main character, Lyra, and several others as they try to determine which side is actually good (the church and God or the fallen angels and Satan). At the end of the third book, God is destroyed.

I found the trilogy entertaining in a sick kind of way; mainly because I had just finished Beth Moore's Bible study Daniel, which really digs into the prophesies concerning end times. His Dark Materials is like a fun house mirror reflection of Genesis, Daniel, and Revelation all rolled into one. It reminds me of when my children try to explain how something happened and put their own slant on it. (I didn't actually kick him, Mommy. He ran into my foot! I didn't say he was a loser to be mean, Mommy. I was talking about the time he lost when we played that board game, remember?) Through Philip Pullman's stories, I had the feeling I was listening to a rebellious, but very persuasive child, telling his side of the story. It was amazing to see how many different ways Phillip Pullman came up with to dismiss or explain away scripture.

Anyway, children shouldn't see this movie because the trilogy is headed in a direction you don't want to go. Pullman is a gifted author and convincing story-teller. I was grateful for the timing of my last Bible study. Know your scripture before reading this...

As far as explaining to my kids why we wouldn't be seeing the movie; I just told the truth, short and simple. I said, "The books depict God as the bad guy and Satan as the good guy, and in the end God is killed. It's totally unrealistic and goes completely against the Bible." They didn't seem at all interested once they knew the plot. I think it really helped, though, that I read the books before telling them we couldn't see the movie. They knew for sure that I knew what I was talking about.