The Strong-Willed Child

Which one?

That depends.

What day is it?

Is there a child who isn't strong-willed?

Not at my house!

I bought my well-worn copy of The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson about 10 years ago when my oldest child, Matthew, was four months old. You might be wondering how it is possible at 4 months to discern such a thing about your baby. We knew Matthew was strong-willed about 3 days after he came into the world!

However, strong-willed children can be tricky. Sometimes, they are easy-going... and because they are so pleasant and good-natured; you are completely deceived into thinking your "easy baby" is not strong-willed.

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Nathan was like this. Matthew had been very picky and made his preferences known LOUDLY from birth. On the other hand, nothing really bothered Nathan until he became a toddler and learned the word, "No." Out of nowhere, Nathan's will of steel was laid bare for all to see! Whenever Nathan made a decision, NOTHING changed his mind. He would always consider the cost (whether it be the loss of a privilege or a spanking); and he always decided getting his way was worth ANY consequence!

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Nathan never reconsidered an opinion once he had formed it until after he prayed to receive Christ at age 5. After that, the Holy Spirit changed Nathan's heart and he became a different person... still strong-willed, but more likely to make a stand for good than for anything else. Despite his age at conversion, he is one of the best examples I have ever seen of the influence of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Ephraim was also a little tricky to discern as strong-willed. As a baby, he crumbled anytime we told him "No." I thought to myself, finally one who won't argue with me! Alas, the honeymoon has ended. Now, I never know what he is going to say when I tell him "no" or send him to time-out. Here are a few of my favorites:

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• Don't say no, Mommy! No is a bad word!
• Don't say no, Mommy! No hurts my feelings!
• I can't go to bed. It makes me sick.
• I can't eat my (healthy) food. It makes my tummy sad.
• I can't (you name it, he can't do it). I have to play with my animals.
• Daddy made a bad choice. Daddy told me no. No is a bad word!
• I can't go to time out. Time out makes me sad!
• I can't go to time-out. Mrs Linda (his teacher) said no more time-outs!

There are more, but I can't think of them at the moment.

Being strong-willed doesn't end in the toddler years. I won't go into details because I don't want to embarrass my child; but there are definitely challenges as we approach the "tweenage" years. Parenting is hard work!

My prayer is for my children to take their strong wills and use them for good, as Nathan (the prophet) did when he confronted King David about his affair with Bathsheeba and the murder of her husband. What courage the prophet Nathan had! He stood up for what was right in a postition that could have ended very badly for him.

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A perfect example of how God can use a strong-willed man for good.

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I apologize for any mispelled words and for all of the dashes (-) in this post... "spell-check" and "return" are not working properly on Blogspot at the moment, and I am finding it hard to write and edit without them! Veggie Tales is playing in the background; and somehow, I cannot concentrate well enough to find my mistakes!